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The Awkward First 20 Seconds of a Video Call — and Why They Matter

By TaggedCam Editorial · · 5 min read

Close-up portrait of a blonde woman

Nobody warns you about the first twenty seconds of a video call. Everything after that tends to take care of itself — the conversation either finds its rhythm or politely doesn't. But the opening stretch, before either of you has settled, is its own small universe. It's also where most people decide, quietly and almost instantly, whether this was a good idea.

So here's what actually happens in those twenty seconds, beat by beat — and why the awkwardness isn't a malfunction. It's the mechanism.

0:00

The loading-screen face

The screen is still dark and you're already performing. You tilt the camera up two degrees. You move the lamp. You study your own preview with an intensity you would never admit to in public. Relax — everyone does this, including the person you're about to meet, who is at this exact moment doing the same thing on their side of the glass.

0:03

The double hello

The call connects and you both say hi at the exact same time. Then you both laugh, or do that half-laugh that means I noticed that too. It's the first thing the two of you will ever share: a tiny, unplanned collision. It breaks more ice than any opening line ever written.

0:06

"Can you hear me?"

Someone always asks it, the way someone always taps a microphone. It's a ritual, not a question. Answer it properly — a nod, a "loud and clear" — and you've already completed your first successful exchange. One point to the two of you. The call is officially working.

0:10

The comment about something behind you

The first real topic is almost never a question. It's an observation — a poster on your wall, a cat crossing the frame, a plant that is clearly thriving. This is the moment the call stops feeling like an interview and starts being a conversation. Want a shortcut? Give the other person something worth noticing before the call even starts.

0:15

The first genuine laugh

Not the polite one — the real one, the kind that surprises its owner. It usually arrives over something small: a misheard word, a pet demanding attention, the mutual admission that neither of you knew what to say. From here, everything gets easier. You've stopped managing the call and started having it.

0:20

You're in

Somewhere around the twenty-second mark your shoulders drop half an inch. You stop watching your own preview and start watching the other person. That's the whole arc: two people performing, to two people present, in less time than a kettle takes to think about boiling.

Why the awkward part matters

It's tempting to wish those twenty seconds away — to imagine a version of meeting people where conversation starts fully formed, like a song that begins on the chorus. But the awkward stretch does real work. For one, it's a filter. Anyone can be charming in a typed message, where every line can be drafted and deleted. Being human in front of a camera for twenty unedited seconds is a small proof of personhood, offered in both directions at once.

More importantly, it's shared. You cannot be awkward alone on a two-person call. The double hello, the audio check, the mutual fumble for a topic — you're doing it together, and doing anything together, even badly, is the beginning of rapport. The people you click with fastest are rarely the ones who skip the awkward part. They're the ones who laugh at it with you.

Getting through it faster

Start with the room, not the resume. "Where are you from" can wait. Comment on something real — what's behind them, what just happened on your screen, the fact that you both said hi at the same time. Observations get answers; interview questions get interviews.

Keep one warm-up question in your pocket. Something light with no wrong answer — what did today actually look like for you, what are you watching lately. You're not gathering information. You're giving the conversation a first push downhill.

Let silences be silences. A three-second pause feels like a minute when you're in it, and looks like nothing at all from the other side. Smile, take the beat, let them finish their thought. Rushing to fill every gap is what makes a call feel like work.

And if the call simply isn't it? That's fine — that's information too. Say it was nice meeting them, mean it, and move on. Our guide to 1-on-1 video chat goes deeper on all of this, from camera height to ending a call kindly.

Everyone's nervous for twenty seconds. The good calls start at twenty-one.

Skip to Second Twenty-One